Couture by Juicy Couture

Smelling Couture by Juicy Couture teaches you two things about Elizabeth Arden, the holder of the Juicy Couture perfume license: a) they don't respect young people, and b) they have no shame.

Maybe it's unfair to expect much from a perfume that was obviously composed on a shoestring budget. However, this cloying blend of sticky grape juice and bathroom refresher-type jasmine is sold for $85 (3.4 oz, or $65 for the 1.7 oz bottle) at Nordstrom, so I'm definitely going to say what I think.

Couture (seriously. It's not even pret-a-porter) opens sweet and never dies. The plastic fruity mess with a weird bubblegum forgotten in a drawer accord offers all the bad stereotypes about teenagers. I'd like to think many of them are smarter than to wear this juice, that smells like so many other fruity vanilla perfumes targeting the same market. Some of them are actually better done. The floral heart is godawful disgusting. A not-really-jasmine and not-really-lilac (the official notes mention honeysuckle, but I could have sworn it's a lilac imitation) could have been made by Glade or Febreze. Actually, both companies have a couple of better composed household products.

The drydown is a bit more tolerable for me, but I tend to fare well with most vanilla scents. It's not a good vanilla and it has nothing of interest to offer and temper the stickiness, but at least it doesn't hate my skin like the reconstructed grape. The plastic note remains forever and ever on any clothes unfortunate enough to touch it. Good thing I didn't wear any dry clean only clothes while testing this dreck.

Couture by Juicy Couture is available from most department stores, Sephora and Juicy Couture boutiques. The sample I had was GWP from Nordstrom.